Appaloosa movie review: Set in the Old West territory of New Mexico, Appaloosa revolves around a pair of hired guns (Viggo Mortensen and Ed Harris) who come to clean up a dangerous town run by a ruthless, powerful rancher (Jeremy Irons) and his band of outlaws. While boldly bringing new order to the town, the two fearless lawmen meet a provocative outsider (Renée Zellweger) whose unconventional ways threaten to destroy their decade-old bond.
Catch it: The romantic complications don't accomplish much -- heck, Zellweger's character may as well be named Liability -- but the movie's plenty watchable as a two-man show between Mortensen and Harris. They're old-fashioned men just trying to figure out how to establish a little law in society, and every so often you're glad to see a good ol' duel between guys who stand for something and those who don't.
Skip it: If you agree with the men that you don't see a lot of single women around anymore who aren't whores. Perhaps you should hang out in a different part of town.
Bottom line: With a wandering pace that will have your mind wandering as well, Appaloosa is too, uh, loose-a. But if you're someone who orders the usual and is just happy when it comes out warm and fresh, I reckon Appaloosa will sit with you just fine.